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Studentenverzeichnis / studiVZ

Brüno

Brüno

Wer Brüno gut findet

4.157 Leute finden Brüno gut.
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Hellooo, ich bin`s Brüno.
Oh meine liebe Fans
Ich habe eine süper sexy Geschenk for euch weil ihr alle seid soooo big fans of Brüno.

Wie ihr wisst, mein sexy movie iz finally auf DVD & Blü-ray and you – meine beautiful Freunde bei StudiVZ – get it billiger!!!
So, Brüno schenkt 4 Euro wenn ihr euch holt sein great movie for zuhause.
Bei nur bei meine boys von Amazon.de.

Now und bis ze end of the year, just nehmt ze Gutschein-Code BRUNOSVZ and click zis Link.
Dann, ihr schreibt den Code in ze Rubrik „Gutscheine“ und …Hellooooo!!! Da ihr habt mein Geschenk! Enjoy ze sexiest Film seit Top Gun!

Brüno´s super sexy auch für Dein home. Nimm mich jetzt! And watch out für Dein Kugelsack.
Visit mein new Website www.brueno.uphe.de

TRAILER

WANNA SEE MORE?

Take a Look auf zis Szene aus mein Movie. Itz von ein Casting for ze hottest Baby-Fotoshoot mit ein paar simple Fragen an ze Parents.

Schaut ze new Clip von eine Talksho aus mein Movie. Ze people sind sooo strange und böse, nur weil ich getauscht habe my iPod für ein Baby!
Ihr wollt sehen my best Stück? Exklüsiv bei SFTlive!
Und eine very sexy und sinnliche Moment I have viz a Lady from ze Adult-Entertainment. Exklüsiv bei Widescreen-Vision!
Look at zis sexy Suit! Ihr wollt sein ze modische Avantgarde, dann mit eine bit of Glück ihr gewinnt zis! Klick auf ze Picture!

My A to Z of Fashion

Ich musste lerne my lession in ze World of Fashion very hard. So weil Ich like you sooo very much, meine dear Freunde, Ich will teach euch mein special Alphabet, so ihr habt es more easy. Hier we go:

A is for... AUSTRIA. Ze most amazing place in Europe. Ve’re all proud of our country und are raised to try und achieve ze Austrian dream – find a job, get a dungeon und raise a family in it.

B is for... BULIMIA. Still to me ze number one eating disorder if you want a great body. Ich vas in fact ze first Austrian to have bulimia, it vas 1987 – three years before Diana. No big deal votever.
C is for... CHINESE. Zere’s like over 500 billion of zem, yet zey don’t have one single model amongst them – vy is zat?

D is for... DESIGNERS.  Fashion is ze most important und lifesaving of all ze sciences. Vood World War II ever have started if zere’d been a Berlin Fashion Veek in 1939? Ich don’t think so.

E is for... EIGHTY. About ze right number of hats to pack for a veekend avay.

F is for... FLORIAN. He’s mein godson, ich just vanted to mention him cos he makes me so proud. He’s only five, but Brüno has already taught him how to read, write und make himself throw up.

G is for... GIANT PANDA. Vot a beautiful, beautiful creature. A vord of vorning, though, its fur is not machine vashable.

H is for... HIGH-VAISTED JEANS. In terms of human tragedy on a mass scale, vy are zese not getting the attention zat Hurricane Katrina did?

I is for... INJUSTICE. Vy do zey give out Nobel Prizes for physics, medicine und svimming, but not for fashion?

J is for... JACOBS, MARC.  Not just a fashion designer, but alzo an important œ Œ vorld leader und beacon of hope for ze future of mankind. Not one suicide bomber has ever blown zemselves up vearing Marc Jacobs – you do ze mathematisher.

K is for... KAMPF, MEIN . Ze fashion bible written by Austria’s black sheep, Adolf. It literally translates as ‘My Flamboyance’.

L is for... ZE ‘LITTLE BLACK CHILD’.
Thanks to Madonna und Brüno, it’s zis season’s vardrobe essential.

M is for... MR UNIVERSE. Ich helped Arnie vin zis for his final time in 1984. Ich met him at ze vay-in vere he was just over ze weight limit und needed to lose two ounces in seven minutes. Ich vas only too happy to help out.

N is for... NAOMI. She’s amazing – 20 years in ze business und all ze pressure und fame hasn’t changed her a bit – she’s remained a total bitch.

O is for... ORLANDO BLOOM . He’s basically obsessed mit me. I don’t vant to use ze word stalker, but ven ich vas at Milan Fashion Veek I stayed at ze Hotel Malecci. Guess who checked in to ze same hotel two hours later… Orlando Bloom. Coincidence? Ich don’t think so.

P is for... PINK . Just vatching him now on MTV. A great singer, great fashion sense und so hunky!

Q is for... QUEEN OF FASHION. Zis, of course, can only be Anna Vintour. Still timelessly dignified, stylish and feminine, despite being in her fifties und a pre-op trannie.

R is for... RUNWAY MODEL. Can you believe zis, I’ve never been one!

S is for... SEPTEMBER 11TH 2001.  Famous, of course, for being ze day on vich Oscar de la Renta reintroduced ze chambray peasant blouse.

T is for... TAMPONS. Ze perfect thing to snack on to keep zose hunger pangs avay und stay looking great. Just one heavy flow size vill leave you feeling full up for ze whole day.

U is for... UNDERVEAR. Try not to go mit out it too often or you’ll end up having to play hackysack mit your kugels just to keep zem off ze ground. Personally, ich just leave off mein unterhosen for appropriate occasions, like if I’m going to ze beach, or if I’m vearing a kilt und zere’s a chance ich vill be photographed getting out of a car.

V is for... VAXING. Hair removal und manscaping ist essential. Be careful if you do it yourself, though – yesterday ich tried to self-wax mein arschenhaller und glued meinself to ze bed. Even more important ist regular anal bleaching. In Austria, anal bleaching ist considered so important zat it’s paid for by ze state. In fact, you cannot run for office if you don’t have a vhite arschwitz. Zere are other benefits to getting ze bleaching – on my last session ze beautician, Klaus, found the long-lost head of a David Beckham action figure up zere.

W is for... WINEHOUSE, AMY.
Ich bin sick of all ze haters – she is not too skinny, in fact, for ein junkie she ist actually zehr fat.

X is for... X-RAY PHOTOGRAPHS. Ich still look too fat!

Y is for... YOGURT.  Peach flavour tastes best on ze vay back up.

Z is for... ZERO.  Brüno’s dress size.

My Top Ten Movies

Wie ihr wisst, I hav gemacht zis süper Movie über mich, zat is auf DVD und Blü-Ray now. Aber of course zer iz viele andere Films I like auch.

#1: Bruno - Check aus mein movie, if you haven’t already! Ze DVD has some AMAZING extras, including 2 minutes of MINDBLOWING cellphone footage David Schvimmer got of Orlando Bloom taking a pischen in ze Chateau Marmont men’s room!

#2: Gladiator
- Gladiator is one of mein all-time favourite movies. Ich cried for an hour vhen Russell Crowe died at ze end, und zen for a further 3 days when ich heard he was straight. Then, vhen I heard about “Cinderella Man” ich thought, ‘At last! He’s coming out!’ - but, alas, it turned out to be about boxing.

#3: Titanic - Leo has never been so adorable – by the end of ze film, I vas even stiffer zan he vas! Just a shame he had Winslet following him around for 4 hours of each day zat she vasn’t at ze 1st Class buffet. I’m surprised ze ship didn’t sink when she climbed up to ze front of it.

#4: Four Christmases - Zis to me is ze ultimate feel good movie. It makes me feel good to see Vince Vaughn looking gouty und bloated und being given terrible scripts

#5: Gandhi - I’m not really sure vhat zis is about, but Gandhi is clearly an inspirational figure to Western guys, whose biggest achievement was to make it acceptable for us to wear sarongs und be manorexic

#6: Amistad
- Zis film has had a deeply profound affect on me – to this day, I still fantasize almost nightly about being on that boat with those guys. In fact, zis summer, I even went sailing of the cost of Africa in the hope I’d be picked by Somali pirates und it vould be a similar experience.

#7: The Passion Of The Christ
- Zis film inspired me to make Bruno – it showed that there was a market for documentaries about super-hot gay white guys.

#8: The Lion King - One of the most important documentaries about Africa ever made. Obviously, some licence has been taken mit ze animals – Lions Speaking English!? Come on, zat’s ridiculous – everyone knows zey speak African.

#9: Fast And Furious - How sexy is Vin Diesel in zis movie!?? I watched it mit 500 guys in a theater in Salzburg – ze title vas ze perfect metaphor for vhat vas going on during ze screening, as vas ze massive explosion at ze end of ze film.

#10: Milk - I know it’s controversial to like zis film, but it’s important to show zat not all gay guys are positive role models like me, but zat ze Harvey Milks of ze vorld are out zere, giving us all a bad name.

My Top Ten Celebrities

Hier für euch my Liste mit ze Celebrities zat ich finde so cute. Zer is Michael Jackson, Madonna, Barack Obama and so viel famous Leute mehr...

#1: Robert Pattinson – Vhen I landed on Eminem at ze MTV Movie Awards last year, what upset me most was zat Robert was sitting just 5 places away from him. Ich vould have loved it if it vas him who had ended up wearing my thighs as earrings und my kugelsack as a bowtie.

#2: George Clooney – He gets more und more gorgeous every year. People wonder vhy he hasn’t got married yet – it isn’t because he hasn’t found ze right partner yet, it’s because he lives in LA und California law won’t allow him to.

#3: Michael Jackson – Vhy oh vhy did he have to die so young? People say he vas 50, but in fact, about 70% of his body vas less zan 15 years old.

#4: Barack Obama – In terms of being a world leader, ich wish he would try to be more like Gandhi und just walk around in his underpants

#6: Lady Ga Ga – Vhat a total genius; by getting everyone to talk about her clothes, she has diverted attention away from ze fact she has a face like a horse und her music ist hunddreck. By ze vay, ich know for a fact zat she should really be called, “Ladyboy Ga Ga”.

#7: Megan Fox – Beautiful, talented, likeable, intelligent, witty und modest are just some of ways Megan Fox has been described in interviews, by herself.

#8: Daniel Radcliffe – He really has grown up; last year in Ibiza he gave my freund Gunther Weggs ein 'magic potion' of 2 parts vodka, 2 parts Red Bull und 1 part roofie. 4 days later Gunther had hogwarts all over his schvantzen.

#9: Madonna – Now zat Michael’s gone, she has become ze undisputed Queen of Pop - und it’s a perfect swap, she’s ze same age, just a bit less white und a bit less feminine.

#10: Ashton Kutcher
– His Twitter postings have been an inspiration to millions of kids. Zey have shown zat it’s still possible to be really famous und really rich despite being barely literate und having an IQ of about 30.

My Top Ten Christmas Gifts

Mit die Gütschein von Amazon, ihr spart 4 Euro!! So mach dein Lover happy mit eine von zese little somethings!

#1: Donation to Charity – Instead of giving a gift to a loved one, why not instead make a donation to a charity on zeir behalf? Last year rather zan buying my family presents, I sent 200 Euros to DOGMA – the charity set up by Pamela Anderson to tackle racism against pedigree dogs.

#2: Must-have Gadgets – Ze iPhone has TOTALLY transformed my life. Zey are really compact und so clever zat all you need is contained in ze one device - it’s so convenient. Ich have 18 of zem und I take zem all with me vherever I go.

#3: Memorabilia – why not splash out on something linked to a partner’s favourite star? My freund Gerhard Schvettering is a HUGE Princess Diana fan und for Christmas last year I bought him part of the concrete pillar her car crashed into. It’s now ze centerpiece of his loft in Vienna vhere he uses it as a drinks table.

#4: Money – Zese days it’s perfectly respectable to give people cash. Ich hear zat every time Matthew McConaughey meets a new Asian guy und zey become “freunds”, he gives zem money as a “gift”.

#5: Consumables – Don’t be scared to buy people boring every day items zat get used up all the time, like socks, wine, shampoo, make-up, lube or poppers.

#6: Clothes – Vintage clothes make great presents – especially if zey have celebrity provenance. For my boyfreund Diesel’s last birthday, ich bought him a jock-strap on eBay zat vas worn on stage by ze singer Pink!

#7: Diamonds – People moan about the wars und unstability of African nations, but let’s try und be positive; one of ze consequences is zat zere are plenty of beautiful cheap diamonds on ze market thanks to children being sent down ze mines und a lack of health und safety regulations.

#8: Surgery – Vhy not delight a relative mit an imperfect body by giving zem a plastic surgery gift voucher? Imagine ze look of joy on ze face of your underdeveloped 15 yr old niece vhen she realizes she can have ze tzitzen job she so desperately needs!

#9: Pets – Ideally you want to give an animal zat is extremely rare. Last year, Siberian tiger cubs were THE pet to give, but tragically this year, due to the success of breeding und conservation programs, I hear zat zey are no longer an endangered species. I would suggest giving tortoises – you can easily customize zem by glueing Swarovski crystals onto their shells und zey are easy to send through ze mail.

#10: Babies – Thanks to Rio winning ze Olympic bid, zis season’s hottest hottest kids to adopt are street orphans from Brazil. If your budget doesn’t stretch zat far, babies from war zones are literally being given away.